This was my Monday face. When I started writing this entry, it was intended for a particular Monday, September 30th to be exact. But it also became my yesterday Monday face. It’s my “I’m just physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted” face. I would be lying if I said otherwise. Monday or not, some days are just more challenging than others.
Monday’s often get a bad rap just because they happen to fall in line after the weekend. I can’t tell you what day of the week my journey with chronic pain started, but there’s only a 1 in 7 chance it started on a Monday.
Like Monday’s, suffering doesn’t have a great reputation either because who loves Monday or suffering. I can’t tell you that I love either, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that God, my Father and creator, does great work through suffering and not only that, He does great work on any day that end’s in “day”.
My journey has been extremely challenging, especially the more recent part. In mid September I had a micro stimulator implanted in my back that is intended to help relieve some of the neuropathy pain I have been dealing with for several years. The recovery/healing time was difficult, not because I can’t handle pain, but the procedure pain combined with my already, often times, overwhelming foot pain, proved to be nearly unbearable. Yet here I sit, on the other side of what seemed an insurmountable challenge, sharing it with you.
My incisions have healed and I’m getting accustomed to wearing an external antenna and battery pack each day. I would love nothing more than to be able to say that I am pain free, but that is not the case. On top of whatever neuropathy still lingers, I also have something called complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), as well as arthritis, bouts of plantar fasciitis, and achilles tendinitis. It’s days like today, when the pain just won’t ease up, that make it hard to distinguish one pain from another. I could very easily blame it on Monday or even blame it on God and I don’t think anyone would blame me. But I don’t blame either. In fact, through it all I haven’t blamed God once. I don’t believe God is doing this “to me”, I believe with all my heart He is doing this FOR ME. I know that my Father does not want me to be in pain. Pain is simply a part of life and it’s because of and through my Father, that I am thankful for every part of my life, including the pain.
In fact, there is lots of joy, despite the pain and I am so excited to share some of the amazing, joyful, things going on in my life. More to come! Time for rest. God bless!