I’ve been reflecting a lot about my very limited understanding of God’s ways. He patiently allows me to go about trying to manage things on my own, while thinking, “I’ve got this.” All the while, He already knows the path ahead and what will ultimately be for my good and for His glory.
I’m reminded of the promise in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” And also the assurance in Romans 8:28 that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” I don’t know that I often see the path God has set before me, and I still trust He already knows the bigger picture.
But right now, I have to admit, I’m in a place of struggle, in the valley. Even as I say it, lyrics of the song “Flowers” by Samantha Ebert come to mind:
‘…He said to me,
“Child, I’m planting seeds
I’m a good God and I have a good plan
So trust that I’m holding a watering can
And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley.” ‘
There is so much happening — physically, mentally, and emotionally—leaving me feeling deeply overwhelmed. I’m seeing a therapist for a host of reasons, I’m experiencing several physical (nothing serious) struggles on top of my ongoing, chronic pain issues, and I’m dealing with grief and life transitions. And, not so surprising, all of it together is creating some mental and emotional challenges.
I know in my heart that God gives me what I need, and that He works all things for His purposes. I do believe that. And yet, my very human mind often struggles to understand why certain seasons seem to bring so many heavy things at the same time.
I truly do want a closer relationship with Him—always. That has never changed. But if I’m being honest, I feel like I’m standing very close to my breaking point right now. Circumstances have me feeling as though I’m walking this current path, hand in hand with this character called mortality. I’m exhausted, and some days the weight of everything feels like more than I know how to carry.
Still, even in this place, I know where my help comes from. I keep reminding myself of the truth in Scripture:
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
And also the words God spoke to Paul:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
Maybe that’s exactly where I am right now—in that place of weakness where I’m being reminded that I was never meant to carry everything myself.
I’m continuing to try and let go, surrendering it all to Him, again and again as necessary. Even when I don’t understand. Even when it feels like too much. Because I do know this: God is faithful. He is patient with me. And somehow, even in seasons like this, He is still working in me, on me, and through me.
For now, I’m choosing to trust that He will carry me through this season—one day, one prayer, one surrendered moment at a time.
My prayer is, if you’re also struggling, that my vulnerability in sharing my struggles will encourage you. And maybe, as someone who relates to the woman at the well, my sharing may point you to my source of help, my “Living Water” – God.
Much love and lots of prayer!
🧡 Kimmy
theheARTofkimmy 